Why You Might Be Depressed
Have you ever asked yourself:
---What am I passionate about? (Hint: topics you could talk endlessly about, love
to learn about, and feel excited when others are interested in it)
---What do I want? ---What is holding me back from what I want? ---What do I identify with? ---What energizes me? ---When do I feel most loving? ---When do I feel most wise? ---Why is it important for me to be liked? ---Who do I want to be? ---Who do I admire?
I'm not speaking to everyone with this article, although I wish I could and make it that simple. But when I notice themes in my client’s lives it is always a reminder that we are all more similar than different. The theme I have noticed in my client’s lives, in my friend’s lives, and throughout my own learning process is that there is often a correlation between what we call depression, and a disconnection from one’s true self. This can also apply to anxiety, which is a good friend of depression.
It makes sense, how can we be in emotional balance when we are denying, ignoring and suppressing a part of our self that is real, and valid, and perhaps even more "us" than those parts we take pride in or even complain about?
This process of owning and disowning select parts of ones self starts at birth. We learn from our caretakers and families what is acceptable and what is not. What gets attention and what does not. What is looked down on in others, and what is admired in others. We watch, listen, are told, and we learn. As we get older and begin interacting with other members of society we gather more information about who to be and what others see in us . And over time our natural traits and genetic predispositions somehow mix with all this information and mold a personality. As we continue to move through life we also start collecting experiences. The ones that hurt usually stand out the most, but there are happy ones too. We continue to decide who to be and how to be, all with the goal of feeling loved, being accepted, and avoiding pain and rejection to the best of our ability. What a dance we do! Sounds exhausting huh? Well isn't it? Yet all along there is a presence behind the scenes. It is the observer who is witnessing this charade. It is the part of you that is aware of your thoughts right now, aware of these words as you read them in your head. Call it whatever resonates with you: your soul, your mind, your higher self, consciousness, awareness, the spirit, the observer, the heart.... it doesn't matter. What does matter is that you realize this is the unchanging and truest part of you. The peaceful, centered, strong and wise part of you. The part that feels drawn to certain people, places and activities without knowing why. It is the part that fuels your creativity, your passion, and your ability to love and empathize. The part that is intuitive, and perceptive. It is the part that can discern the truth. We are all born with this part but for most of us over time it is overshadowed. And this is why you might be depressed.
I feel this is worth sharing because I continue to see over and over how a connection back to this part shines light on one’s undesired symptoms. I’ve watched how clients are awakened to new perspectives, motivation, meaning and hopefulness. It brings clarity and confidence. It creates comfort with feeling joy. It may put you on a different path than you expected. It is the stability you've been seeking, the wisdom you've needed to hear, and the love you've searched for outside yourself. But it's always been there, patiently waiting for you to remember and embrace it.
When you are reconnected to this part of yourself, and own it as much as you do your talents, your successes, your sense of humor or your good hair, it serves by coming through your personality. There is integration and merging into a whole, conscious being. You may still have good hair or be a great singer, but there is also stillness behind what is impermanent. It brings an acceptance to all aspects of life even the difficult ones. It will help you to let go and stay present. It doesn't personalize. It doesn't judge or fuel the self-criticism that causes you to suffer. It just is. And it is content with the moment given to it as yet another experience. So if you feel disconnected from this inner place, you could choose to see your depression and anxiety as valuable tools. You are being alerted to redirect yourself back into alignment.
If you feel you might have depression, anxiety, or would like to learn more about connecting to your true self contact me at: Alyssa@AlyssaRand.com