Do You Feel Worthy?
A lack of self worth is at the core of all human issues. So what is this illusive self worth? What does self worth even mean?
Self worth is a sense of one's own value. Self worth is instilled in us from birth. All babies are born feeling worthy. Yet as we get older we begin to measure our worth based on our caretaker's ability (or inability) to love us. This is unfortunate because the limitations of others reflect their issues, not our own.
Our entire reality is designed for us to be in relationships with others. To be effected, and to effect. With all these interactions and relationships, it is only natural to compare our lives to others. Inevitably, we measure worth in reference to others.
In addition, what we place value on helps us to determine self worth. We may see value in a skill, a physical attribute, a circumstance, a material object, or someone else's opinion. If someone has that car, or that ability to work a room, than they are worthy to us. We may even admire them, depending on how much we value what they have and how far we are from having it. And when we assign worth, we often feel less worthy in comparison.
Our Measure of Self Worth is Illogical and Inaccurate
When we use such things to determine the worth of ourselves and others, it is fleeting. When worth is based on an external circumstance or opinion, it is ever changing and subjective. We end up feeling worthy one day, and not the next. How is this accurate?
Success, power, money, sex appeal, abs, humor, spirituality, achievement, these are all relative. These are your ego's way of telling you what is important and where you fall short. Such things can change, and end, and then is one's worth taken away?
Also, certain things are more easily achieved through opportunity. Does that mean that children born into less opportunity have less self worth?
And what if status, or financial success is gained through manipulative and immoral ways? Does that same person still have immense self worth?
None of this makes sense. Yet, we allow these illogical ways of thinking to determine our value.
A more accurate gauge for your worth is something that is not based on the external. The external is out of your control anyway. It is something which is not based on others' subjective opinions of you. It is something which cannot be given, bought, or lost.
Look Within to your Innate Worth
A more accurate gauge to determine your worth comes from inside you. It is how you feel about who you are in relation to the world. Notice I did not say how you feel about who you are compared to the world. This is not about comparing assets and skills. This is about how you relate to the world.
Simply put, how do you treat people? Are you of service on a moment to moment basis for the highest good for all? Are you kind? Are you compassionate? Are you fair? Are you understanding? Do you feel good about the energy you emit to your surroundings? When you are alone, are you proud of who you are in this sense, and the ways in which you have treated others? The energy trail you have left behind?
Your ego may read this and use it to beat yourself up, and show you how you are falling short, even in being kind. However, this information is only meant to empower you. Because this type of self worth IS in your control. You can wake up tomorrow and decide to be kind. To be of service to the world and contribute to an eternal domino effect . This can hold more value than anything else. Moment to moment you decide.
If you are struggling with your own sense of worth, or find that you compare yourself to others and would like to understand more about these patterns please email me at Alyssa@AlyssaRand.com.